Papal Home-Made Brewing Kits

"To pope or not to pope, that is the question"

-unknown

So it is in our time, that the idea of the Pope goes down like spam marinated in Natural Light, smothered in swiss cheese. Those who resist the Catholic Church's pope envision in their mind there is no such a thing. We have concocted a new unicorn, they say, a leviathan lurking around in history seeking whom he may devour. To break away from its mental grip, one imagines that he or she has escaped his primal rule. They now live on an island free to dance around under the autonomous reign of the Divine Justice--no longer oppressed by the pseudo-steward of the ahistorical Catholic imagination.

What's wrong with this picture? 

In addition to the fact that the papacy is inescapable via Scripture, history, and Tradition, the papacy is also inescapable from logic and experience. Jesus didn't create committees to sit around and cast lots for the account of truth. Nor did he set up a democracy--we can thank the Greeks for that. No. One is the principle of unity. It is the denominator everything shares. It is the teleological axis point of sanity.

To be fair, there is debate to be had on the account of Scripture, history and Tradition regarding what type of papacy exists, but one cannot help but agree that the papacy is logically and experientially necessary. So much so that any Christian, of any creed, believes in the papacy. That' right. They might not believe that Pope Benedict XVI is the successor of St. Peter, but they believe in the papacy. Even the Hebrew people understood how the Seat of Moses and the Divine rule of G-d was compatible. A vacated throne will lead to anarchy and madness, and above all we will preserve the peace--at least of our mind. No anti-Catholic rhetoric can quiet the cool march of our conscience to sanity.

Instead of submitting to the successors of the Apostles in union with the Chair of St. Peter--gifted with the divine keys of prime ministership, we craft our own version. No individual or denomination acts as if there is no papal promulgations. Under the disguise of "Bible alone"(sometimes with the help of "divine revelation"), individuals--like Arius, Aldebert, Calvin, Smith or McPherson, pontificate ex cathedra like it's going out of style. Just because their writings don't look like the stuff to the right, doesn't mean they don't think their writings don't have the same effect.

No Christian community acts like their interpretation of Scripture is mere opinion. No denominational statements of faith read like "Dear Abby". Still, many Christian communities disagree on fundamental doctrines. Biblicists like to belittle the differences, but Sunday morning in America proves just the opposite. For those who reject the Catholic papacy, there can be one of only two possibilities on Sunday morning: either the person talking is the pope or the person listening.

The problem is that home-brewed papacies intoxicate the drinkers. When all you drink is what you like or what you've selected, whether you admit you prefer it or not, you will grow to prefer it. Less filling. More taste. Less filling. More taste. Less filling. More taste.

More taste?

Less Filling?

More taste?

Less Filling?

It all depends on what you want. Either way, someone will be the pope. At work you have a boss. At home, there is a father. An ant colony has a queen. Despite all our anti-Romanist tendencies, we cannot help but have a pope. We must have one or we will be one. If Christ said, "the Truth will set you free", denominationalism without micro-brewed papacies would lead to personal and private theological meltdowns. Sadly, the theological chernobyl effect is that the average "joe" or "sally" Christian in the pew is left to follow the average "joe" or "sally" preacher in the pulpit or at the denomination's headquarters. The radiation effect is theological cancer, the symptoms of which is theological "cells" warring against each other: some say baptism is necessary, others say Christ is in and with the bread and wine, some say divorce is okay, while others say you must speak in tongues to be saved.

To those that war against Christ's divinely instituted leaders--modern prophets leading Christ's Church through time and space, our Lord's words still resonate:

"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! (like the Apostles and their successors) How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling."- Matthew 23:37

Most people have the common sense, decency, and humility to recognize they are no good at home-brewed beer. That's why they buy it at the store. So too, most people submit to their local church or denomination as a quasi magisterium because without one, they would jump off the proverbial theological bridge to nowhere.

Like no man is an island to himself, no man is without a pope. Rest assured, no matter what church you go to, there you shall find a pope. If you don't find one, you might have to check your closet to find your personal pallium hanging around right behind your Strong's Concordance.


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(first image source)