"Thank you for answering my question, but it leads to another. What if a husband or wife wishes to convert to Catholicism, but the spouse is unwilling, uninterested or maybe even adamently against it?Particularly, as in the second comment above, what if the wife wishes to convert, but the husband does not. What is she to do in the eyes of the Church? Submit to her husband or go against his wishes, since Christ said we must follow him no matter what or who stands in our way? Can one spouse convert and the other, not? What if (not that it would have been) that had been your situation? Would you have still converted without your wife's joining you? It seems it would be a sticky situation. You are very blessed that she happily joined you, but not everyone has it so easy, especially when the roles are reversed and it is the wife who is considering converting, to her utter personal shock and surprise, I might add. Like you, she too, never imagined (and still hasn't admitted to herself that she is) she would ever consider Catholicism."First, let me say that I completely understand the sentiment in your last comment. I, too, never dreamed of becoming Catholic. All roads were not conspicuously leading to Rome. I am going to give you two takes on the matter. I asked my wife this question, and here is what she said:
"My gut reaction is convert no matter what....I don't know what I would actually say if I was the one having to respond to this email. It seems to me, though, that converting to Catholicism is as tantamount as becoming a Christian. I would never tell someone to reject becoming a Christian because of marital reasons. Isn't that what the Catholic Church is? Christianity, our Salvation, the way Christ has given us himself on this earth?...."I love my wife. Her feminine sagacity comes in short thoughts like this that get right to the heart of the matter. For prudential purposes, I would add the following:
- Conversion, even when both are not on the same page, is easier if the existing marriage is solid. Any communication problem you may have will be accentuated by this particular conflict, if you let it.
- Go slow. There is no reason to rush. When you are a catechumen (learning about Catholicism in RCIA), Mother Church calls you Her own. I recommend finding a local parish and starting RCIA. Maybe your husband would go with you? Maybe he would be willing to have a conversation about what you learn? Most importantly, pray about this every day. Ask God for help: in your heart, marriage, mind, in the work He has called you to do as a mother...everything. Pray, pray. and pray again.
- Allow your journey to Catholicism to be a chance to grow closer to God. To be closer to His Church is to be closer to Him. To be closer to Him is to be more like him. Your husband and everyone else will notice.
- Ask the saints to pray for you, especially Blessed Mary. I know this one probably sounds weird to you at this point. It did to me too. I recommend praying this little prayer I prayed:
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| Our Mother |
St. ____________, pray for me.
Amen.
You are in my family's prayers.
