What do I do when faced with Truth?
One of the best movies written (the script) in the last 20 years was the first movie in The Matrix trilogy. It's great because of all the important philosophical questions it asks. What is truth? What is the nature of reality? What does it mean to be sentient? What is real?
One of the very best scenes in the movie is when Morpheus, after showing Neo the truth about reality, presents him with two pills. One pill, if swallowed, will allow Neo to forget everything he has seen and go back to living as he did (in a vat somewhere hooked up to sensors). The other pill, if swallowed means he proceeds; he accepts truth; he becomes a part of the plan.
When I was on my journey to the Catholic Church, I wanted to swallow the first pill. Becoming Catholic meant giving up too much: my personal history, my ministry, my theology, and my pride. If I swallowed the first pill I could go back to my life as I knew it; maybe even return on a path toward Christian ministry. If I became Catholic it meant kneeling in a wooden pew, in an old Church, as an ordinary member of an extraordinary Church full of saints and scholars. The second pill meant becoming a part, while the first pill offered a chance at my part. Not just my part, but my faith and my Christianity.
Yet, somewhere deep inside me, like Neo, I knew that reality wasn't mine. Even if I went back to the vat, I would still know that's where I was and so I could take the first pill all the while knowing it meant gaining nothing and losing everything. If the Catholic Church was who she said she was, then I was taking the second pill and swallowing my pride.
What I've gained...is more than I can put in words.
(Next: A look at a few who took the second pill for all its worth)
