"I really enjoy reading your blog and I'm very sorry for being a "Mrs. Anonymous," but I have good reason to be...and it's not for lack of courage, I can assure you. Now, if I were disrespecting you under cover of anonymity, then I could understand your distaste [Normal people understand this]. However, that is not the case with me. I greatly appreciated your post in response to my further questions (sorry I didn't reply to it earlier, but life was busy) [I UNDERSTAND--just glad you are still reading!]. I would like to tell you that I am not sure what to think right now about Catholicism. I find myself being intrigued by, even hoping that, the idea (sorry, but at this point, for me, it's still just an idea) that the Catholic church might actually be all that it claims. However, I don't know how to be sure [question 1]. I've even prayed, "Lord, if this is the Truth, then please draw my husband toward it, too, without my prompting. Then, I'll know for sure." But, then, that would be testing God or asking Him for a sign, would it not [question 2]? I don't want to be like the guy on his roof during a flood who keeps praying for God to save him...you know the story, right? I mean, what if your blog (which sparked my interest) is like the helicopter that God has sent, but then I wave it away saying, "No thanks, when God gives me a sign, it will be more clear..." Perhaps you might say God is drawing me, but if He is, then wouldn't He draw my husband, too? We don't have children yet and I really don't want to raise kids if Mommy is Catholic, but Daddy is Protestant [question 3]."Wow! What wisdom. I think I may change this blog's name to "Christ's Helicopter for His Church!" (ooh, that would make a nice header) As an aside, one thing I love about pentecostals is that they are spiritually perceptive. You show a lot of wisdom in understanding that God is using the experiences you are even having now to draw you closer to Him. He certainly is. To your questions, for the sake of communicating clearly, I want to break them up into three different ones and then answer them directly:
1. If God is drawing me, wouldn't he be drawing my husband too?
Maybe, but not necessarily. We are all in different places in our lives. God knows the end and the beginning at the same time (Alpha and Omega). When he draws one spouse, he may be drawing them as a means of drawing the other spouse. I obviously do not know in your specific situation. However, I would encourage you to continue to pray and allow this journey to change you for the better. Even though you will know more as it goes on, don't become the "know-it-all". Listen more, and be more attentive to what your husband has to say regarding matters of faith. Don't just look for what he says that you may be learning is not true, but try to find the things that he is affirming or are implicit in his statements that in fact you see are affirmed by the Catholic faith.
That is one of the things I try to do on this blog. Show people that we believe a lot of Catholic "stuff" or that our rejection of certain Catholic notions is a hypocrisy in lieu of other Christian sensibilities we have.
The relevant portion of the Catechism of the Catholic Church says (assuming a "Jesus-only" invalid baptism):
"In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion." CCC 16372. Can I test God?
Easy answer, no (Luke 4:12). I want to qualify this, though. Can you ask God to "help my un-belief"? Of course. How he does that is up to Him. Let's be honest with each other. This whole Catholic thing has got you scared. I know, I was in your shoes. You may be starting to realize that either:
A. The Catholic Church is the Church Jesus Christ, himself, founded
OR
B. She is the great whore from the book of Revelation dragging men and women to hell
If A or B, OH MY!!! Both send spiritual chills down your spine but for opposite reasons. Good, we are on the same page. Asking God to "give you a sign" may not be wrong if what you are asking is "God, help me to see the truth here". God knows your heart, I don't. Be honest with Him--which from your comment appears you already are.
3. How can I know for sure?
This could be an entire post or a series of posts. Instead, I will redact it down so as to make this as easy as possible:
When we say "for sure" we mean certainty. In thinking about certainty, there are two possible answers:
A. A psychological state whereby one cannot be convinced otherwise because there is not a smidgen of doubt
OR
B. We have a reasonable confidence correlative to the type of knowledge we are talking about.
"A" does not exist. We can doubt ANYTHING. Is it rational to doubt anything? Absolutely not, but that is besides the point. We can. Therefore, let's dismiss A and discuss B.
There are different types of knowledge and therefore different types of certainty (you can read more about it here). I won't be exhaustive here, but let's think about three different types of truth claims:
1. If I drop this ball, it will fall to the ground
2. 1 is not, not 1
3. The Catholic Church is the Church Jesus founded
#1 is a statement of "physics". We can verify this through our sense experience alone (empirical) using reason. Is our understanding of the physical world ever foiled? Sure. Nonetheless, we can have physical certainty about some facts without always living in some type of tension or state of doubt. In other words, if you jump off of a roof, you are certain that you will hit the ground.
#2 is a statement of metaphysics. It flows from both the law of identity (A=A), but ultimately is an expression of the law of non-contradiction (A≠ not A). This simply means (as Blessed Scotus would say), "to be burned and not to be burned are not the same thing". We do not know this by physics but by metaphysics. Hence, if your friend tells you that she has a bank account, you do not then tell your other friend that she does not have a bank account. You don't say this simply because you do not want to lie, but rather that it is a law of thought that governs how we think.
#3 is a moral statement. What I mean is that you or I have to make a judgement, whereas in #1 we follow the cues, and #2 we deny at our own peril. Let's think about number #3 in a different way. How do you know "for sure" that you were born in the city your birth certificate claims? Certainly not in the way you know #1 or #2. So, you have to make a judgement. The Catholic Church has always taught that one can know certain universal characteristics of God through human reason alone (Romans 1:20). Like one would go about identifying the "Founding Fathers", the Catholic Church can be identified as the "Church Jesus founded". Search history and examine for yourself.
What next? If the Catholic Church is the Church Jesus founded, and Jesus is God-Incarnate, then...
Peace to you on your journey
