From the Combox...Will We Grow Apart if I Convert?

In response to my last combox question, it was expressed to me by Mrs. Anonymous that she was afraid that if she became Catholic she would grow apart from her husband.

That's a fair and honest concern.

In fact, I'm pleased that she is concerned about growing apart from her husband. Anytime a spouse learns anything new, does anything new, etc., it can be an opportunity for distance to grow in a relationship. My wife and I have a vow to never keep any secrets from each other. If someone tells us something, that person has to understand that they have told the opposite spouse. Why? Because when you keep places of your heart hidden from your spouse, those places of your heart act like a tether let out. Gradually over time, spouses can grow a part. Soon, and you never even realized it happened, you have A LOT of secrets you do not tell your spouse about. Maybe you have an entire life that you are living, and he or she is not a part of it. Not good.

RED FLAG

As I've said before, a conversion to Catholicism won't heal a marriage where communication is not wide-open. Does her husband know about her reading my blog? If not, she should tell him. Now. This cannot be a secret indulgence, it will only possibly cause pain later. In marriage, asking for forgiveness afterwards is never the right strategy.

Nonetheless, an important part of marriage is communication and acceptance. In this case, her husband is a Christian. Unless he has communicated directly that he thinks the Catholic Church is the whore of babylon, is unwilling to find out if that is true or not, and is committed to keeping his anti-pope flag hung up in his room, then I think she can still proceed with prayerful caution. (I don't guess she is asking that the papal flag be hung over their canopy bed.)

YELLOW FLAG

Thus, caution and prayer is key. If God is taking her on this spiritual journey, He wants to include her husband in some way. I am not saying this as some kind of prophet but rather by just exercising the intuitive spiritual muscle of common sense. She is one-flesh with her husband. As such, God moves in and through each spouse individually for the benefit of the other. As spouses, speaking in the first person, we are truly each other's crosses of salvation. This happens in my own marriage all the time. ALL THE TIME. God helps my wife grow in areas that directly challenge me spiritually; areas that many times I am too proud to confront on my own. No biggie. That's why God gave her to me! I'm just glad there is a channel through which God can speak to me when I've tried to turn them all off.

WHITE FLAG

"Sorry babe, the the new Madden
game is out", ain't cutting it.

She shouldn't give up. She needs to continue to pray and work on opening the lines of communication. Marriage is no fun when we have to hide behind the walls of repercussions; especially when they are repercussions for good things we are doing. Sure, if I spend all our money and we cannot buy food, I should expect to hear it from my wife. However, if I simply want to have a respectful conversation about how we are going to raise our kids, the discipline of going to church, and my own spiritual life, I should not fear reprisal. That's just straight-up not cool. Conversely, following Christ requires carrying a cross. The question then becomes, how much are we all willing to suffer for:

and

Peace to you on your journey.