Why St. Rose of Lima is the Patroness of My Family

This was originally published June 13, 2011.

This is a picture of St. Rose of Lima--the patroness of the Americas. I would like to share with you the special story that explains our decision to entrust our family to her prayers. If my last sentence makes you uncomfortable, I recommend you read this, followed by this, and then this.

An Oklahoma sunset--A metaphor
for our life at this point

Two years into my marriage with my amazing, wonderful and adorable wife Danielle, we found out she was pregnant. We were so excited! About 3 months into the pregnancy, we went into the doctor to have an ultrasound. I'll never forget that day or the days that followed. When we looked at the ultrasound screen, we could see a beautiful little body. The only problem was that there was no pulsing heart beat. Our daughter was dead.

Without trying to write a book in this post, let's just say that the next year was the darkest of our life. A few days after the horrible news, my wife had to undergo a procedure to get the baby out (D&C). Sadly, the doctors refused to call our baby a "baby", but rather "products of conception". The culture of death does not let life even have a cameo appearance.

I'll never forget when I went to pick up the remains of our daughter, I came to a room in the hospital where it was obvious they kept biological waste. The technician knew why I was there, but looked at me as if I were from another planet. No one did what we were doing.

I drove to the funeral home, my daughter sitting in a white container next to me in the driver's side seat. Dead. I was numb. I'll never forget the feelings I had that afternoon, and even as I sit here and type this now a little tear wells in the corner of my eye.

We had a funeral. I wrote a song. We passed out roses to everyone; even bought a rose covered gravestone. Her name was Grace Elaine and she lies in a plot in Broken Arrow, OK.  I can close my eyes and vividly imagine being there, with her, amongst all the other little fallen angels. I love her. I will always love her for she is a part of me. Due to the stress of the situation, I contracted shingles (a more painful version of chicken-pox for adults), not to mention that the whole scenario plunged my wife into a mild depression.

Even worse, now we were afraid we would never have children again...

Almost two years later, Leah Elaine Stubbs was born, and everything changed. If you've read my conversion story you know that it was when Leah was born that my spiritual journey that led us to the Catholic Church began. In some sense it began when Grace died because it was around that time that we began questioning the licitness of birth control. When we came into the Church in 2008, Danielle and I decided to give our already born children their own special saint. We prayed about it, and Dean, our second child, was given to the care of St. Sebastian. Leah received St. Rose of Lima.

Fast forward 3 years. Our dearest friends, David and Kendel Williams, are visiting us for the baptism of our daughter Gemma (child number 5--living child number 4). The kids are in bed, and we are about to present them with some godparent gifts. I have a knack for the theatrical aside, so I begin to express to them both how much they meant to us and how much it meant to Danielle and I both that they cared so much about our children. Specifically, I reminded them about how 3 years ago when we visited them in Oklahoma, they still had the rose from Grace's funeral up in their house. That meant so much to us that our daughter's memory was alive somewhere.

Suddenly my wife jumped out of her seat and dashed into the kitchen--pale faced. When she came back, she had this look like she was going to say something important and her countenance was almost eerie.

"Brent, do you remember when Grace died?", she asked.

"No, I can't," I replied (I'm awful with dates just awful).

"August 23," she said adamantly, "The Feast of St. Rose of Lima".

And then I knew. Our little rose--the one whose grave we had adorned with roses 3 years before we even knew a St. Rose of Lima existed--Grace Elaine, had made it before the face of God. St. Rose of Lima, the patroness of the Americas, had met my daughter maybe even held her in her arms. I'm not sure. Either way, God had assigned her a task. Bring them home to His Church. What had seemed so meaningless now had meaning. We already believed that our daughter was in heaven praying for us, but now we knew.

August 23 was a date that had been shrouded in tragedy and heartache. Somehow by God's amazing grace, it is now a day that is adorned with the glory of God. Isn't that just like the Good News?

"The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him. I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us." -Romans 8:16-18

St. Rose of Lima, pray for us!